Top 10 reasons why Dick Cheney shot fellow hunter Harry Whittington

10. Whittington snuck up behind Cheney and yelled in a shrill, alien voice, ‘look…here…enemy, grenaaaaaade!!!!!’
9. Cheney day dreaming about Winter Olympics biathon, thought he had stopped skiing to shoot rife.
8. Cheney jittery from drinking 2 Venti, quadruple-shot, Carmel Macchiatos.
7. Whittington insists that U2 did deserved the Grammys for ‘How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb.’
6. Cheney reminiscing all day, out loud, about life as Vice President, Whittington shoots himself.
5. Cheney yelled out ‘duck!’ and Whittington thought he was talking about a bird.
4. Cheney listening to Eminem on iPod repeating, ‘It’s not even loaded bitch, look. I getcha everytime.’
3. Cheney overheard telling Whittington, “If I tell you I’ll have to kill you.”
2. Whittington forgot to shave, mistaken for Michael Moore.
1. Never double-dare Dick Cheney.