Saloon + Sharp Object = A good idea?

This chick was one of the contestants in the Honokaa Western Week Saloon Girl competition. The girls are supposed to serve a couple shots of whiskey to a pair of cowboys then perform some kind of act, usually some salacious singing. But this chick took the tray of booze, downed the two shots (fake shots) and proceeded to do some fancy baton twirling (the baton originally had a stick pony head on it). It was like Suicide Girls invade the Honokaa Western Week. What a combination, better than chocolate and peanut butter?

Then Miss Lulu Bella Sliceafellow (her stage name) took out a cane knife and proceeded to twirl and spin that around at high speed, up in the air, around her back, etc all while doing splits, jumping around on the little stage and scaring the shit out of the cowboys backing off behind their table. I though for sure she’d loose her grip and send that knife flying to my head since I was so close to the stage.

To top that off while we’re waiting for the results of the contest the MC made an annoucement over the PA system for the hundreds there. He had to page her husband, “Will Miss Sliceafellow’s husband with the nursing baby please come backstage. She said she’s about ready to burst.”

She came in second place. All that jumping around and the tight outfit must have done a number on her milk production. I’m not sure if she had sprayed on-stage it would have won her the contest but it would have gotten my vote.